Sixteen

My son is sixteen.  How about that?  Do you feel old yet?  I do...!  Anyways... jotting this down in the blog, lest I forget.

My gift from the Almighty.  Thank you Lord.

Last year we went for a duo trip to Penang and ate our hearts out.  But this year, I didn't have any leave nor the extra finances to go for a trip.

Round 1:  very healthy right?  I super love this plater!!!  With Black Coffee.  Really good.

I thought of doing something nice for Noel.  And for myself too, because I deserve a pat on the back for the labour pain and c-section I went through to have him.  Haha. Yes, any reason to eat.

Round 2:  Western breakfast.  The baked beans weren't nice.  The croissant was baked fresh in the cafe, but it wasn't the way it's supposed to be, flaky and buttery.

So, I took the day off, and then woke him up early to go for breakfast at Hilton.  I've always loved Hilton's breakfast, no matter if it has lessen a bit in term of environment coziness, variety of food or the quality of the food over the years.

Round 3.  Local food.  Curry was nice.  And of course I MUST have their Teh Tarik.  Yums!

I still had more that what I'm supposed to have.  To get my money's worth of course.  And Noel?  Well, he gave up after 3 rounds.  Haha... Pandai takut makan...

Round 4.  I love the super thick bread.  They panggang it with arang before serving.  Nice and crunchy.  Sweet toppings.  The starting of my dessert.  The soft boiled eggs were already cold, but perfectly executed.

During the breakfast, like what I'd do on my birthday, I got him to think, to talk about and to write down 5 things he is thankful for, 5 regrets and 5 things he'd like to do for the future.

Round 5.  Final round.  Now, WHY ON EARTH aren't there CAKESSSSSS for breakfast!!!! A bit disappointed with the dessert selection.  (Ker, aku jer yang makan dessert for breakfast)

We also talked about future in studies, what to do and how to achieve it.  Thanks to Aunty Jane for her input too.  Divine timing.  Yes, we know the path ahead will not be easy.  But we'll do our best.  I hope he will do the best in his studying too.  

Reflection of a 16 year old.

I think it was a good time spent together, although it was hard for him to do the reflection part, he's still "a kid" anyways, kids just wanna have fun right?  But one thing I noticed during the breakfast was that I spent more time on my phone then he did. Haha.. as in taking photos, uploading etc.  I asked if he was not going to put the day on insta / Instastories, and he's like, no need mom, just enjoy the time.  Wow.  This mother epic fail.

Started wearing hairband because his hair is really long now.  His grandfather hates it.  I used to think I'd hate it too, but I'm surprisingly OK with it.

After breakfast, we went to catch Frozen 2 the movie.  It was a good movie.  I wanted to go for a second movie, but then Noel requested to have his friends over to BBQ.  The gang had actually wanted to have a BBQ in September, before their final exams, but time weren't right.  I actually love having these kids over at the house.  At least I know his friends.

Must have birthday cake - No Bake Oreo Cheesecake

So after the movies, we went home to prepare.  And because Noel's cousins were around, we decided to sing the birthday song and cut the cake then.  In the afternoon.  We normally will cut cake in the morning, but because the kids left earlier than usual to school this morning, we did not.  This is the yearly-must-do cake for Noel.  He will not request for any other cake but this one.  It's been a few years (more than 5), and yet he still wants it.

Menu:  BBQ lamb, chicken, pork, Mashed potatoes with mushroom sauce, fried bihun, white rice, coleslaw.  Apu Nenek added bbq fish and roasted pumpkin.

Then, we started working on the BBQ.  Everything was already prepared, so it wasn't so difficult.  It was a long preparation time for me, because I was doing it all by myself.

Tuesday night:  Lined the cake pan
Wednesday morning:  Made the cake base.
Wednesday night: Went for my usual latte session with Sal.  Till about 12 midnight.  Yes, we meet often, but yes, we still have lots to talk about.
Got back home at 12.30 and started prepping.  Ended at 3.30am
- Make cake
- Peel shallots, garlic, ginger, lemongrass.  Blend
- Wash chicken wings, lamb
- Marinate
- Julienne Carrot
- Slice Mushroom
- Peel Potatoes
Thursday morning:  Woke up at 4.30am.  Went to market.  Bought pork / add on chicken wings.  Went home.  Marinated meat.  Sliced Cabbage.  Then went out to breakfast.
Thursday afternoon:  Came home from breakfast, boiled potatoes, fried bihun, cooked rice, make coleslaw, make mashed potatoes, make mushroom sauce.  Done.  Everything was ready by 4.30pm.

There were supposed to be 6 friends.  But one weren't allow to skip tuition by the mom, so only 5 came.  They were pointing to where that one was supposed to be sitting.  Some of these boys also came last year.  I love it that when I meet them in school, we can talk and joke; unlike some parents who will just stand / sit far from their kids and their friends.

We're supposed to start dinner at 5pm, but the last of the kids only arrived at 6.40.  So we started dinner at 6.45.  We were supposed to eat outside the house, but out of no where the fogging team came and we had to rush and brought everything inside.  Once inside, lazy to bring out anymore.  So just ate indoors.  Normally, the kids would take food and eat at the living room, but yesterday, we adults got kicked out from the kitchen and the kids conquered the kitchen.  I was pooped by 8.30, and went to the room to nap while they enjoyed themselves.  Told noel to wake me up when it's time for me to send them home.  But when Noel woke me up at 10pm, he said everyone left, with Dean's mom sending them home.

I hope Noel had a good day of celebration and that his love tank is full.  My only hope is that he knows that he is indeed loved.  I'm freaking out, because I fear that I might not be able to provide for his future... but it's OK lah... God will take care of everything.

Trying to loose weight is tiring!

One of my colleagues forwarded this photo to me recently.  Taken in December 2016.  We all had a good laugh on how round I looked!

Fast forward November 2019, I've lost about 20kgs since then.  My highest recorded weight was 91kgs in May 2017, I reckon I must have been heavier before that.  But it's been slowly going down.  Read:  SLOWLY.  It's been a reaaaallll draggg!!!

It's so tiring to keep it up.  It's even more tiring to loose more.  I still have another about 10kgs (ideal will be another 14-15kgs) to loose to achieve my ideal BMI.  Who am I kidding?  That's something I will never be able to achieve.

Urrrrggghhhhhh!!!! Do you know the pain of wanting to eat (because you naturally LOVE food) but you are unable to, because with just a SNIFF of food, you will gain 5kgs.  The kind of sabotage your body goes into once you put a morsel of food in your mouth!  BLURRRGGHHHHH!!!!!  And that is why desperate times calls for desperate extreme measures of just not eating.  But.... ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

From the pen of a hungry dieter.

Bo Lat

No... it's not BULAT (round)... not BOO LAT... it's BO LAT... In Hokkien BO means "don't have". LAT means "energy".  So, bo lat means no energy.

Have you ever had days when you just don't have the energy to do anything?  No energy to entertain anyone.  Don't even want to open your mouth to speak?  Ya?  You have them too?  Good.  Because I definitely have them.

I actually have a gazzilion things to do... in the office.  in the ministry.  at home.  but gosh.  I can't be bothered to even START doing them.

You know, our life shouldn't be affected by what is happening around us.  Our feet should be planted well in the intimate relationship with God that our emotions are immovable despite and in spite of what goes on around us and how the emotion of others are.  But I think, because I do not have an intimate personal relation with God, I become very... BO LAT.  I get affected by how others talk / act, by what my scale shows me in the morning, by who chats with me, by many other things.  KEYWORD:  INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.  Not just a personal relationship.  But an INTIMATE one.

Things I need to do:

Work:  CIDB, UPKJ, MOMs, MOA, P&P, Filing, Keys, Updates

Ministry:  Budget, Planning, Committee Meeting, Graduation Slides, Graduation Speech, Breakfast, YADAYADAYADAYADA

Home:  Clean room, mop house, wash toilets, CHRISTMAS

BLUEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

For now, I just wanna roll up in my bed and just melt away from existence... 

NECF 40 days fast & pray: Day 9 - 17

I've not posted much about these days, because I've missed so many days, mostly due to social obligations...

I "reset" to Day 1 again on Tuesday and today being the 5th day, am famished like mad, which is usually the case.

Drank 2 mugs of milo already.  Doesn't seem to be helping.  Another 3 days to my next social obligations...

NECF 40 days fast and pray: Day 8; Mind being Renewed

I've noticed I've spoken a lot about food and hunger so far...  Yes, that is the chunk of the struggle, trust me.  I don't think I ever want to do this again.  Ever.

Spiritual wise - I'm learning to pray every time I have hunger pang (which is all the time!) hahaha... and been listening to Audio reading of the bible.  I am behind, based on the NECF guide book, but I'm trying still.

May my mind be renewed as I Read, Meditate and Act on the Words of God.

NECF 40 days fast and pray: Day 7; Melted by His Amazing Love

Somehow the days in the office are the hardest.  Maybe because I can't sleep the hunger away.

Hungry today.  Drank a mug of barley in the morning at home.  Then a mug of kopi-O kosong in the office.  Drank a mug of milo at 2.30pm.

Doesn't seem to be drinking enough water.

Feeling and acting a bit bitchy today.  Not good at all.  Not a good testimony.  SIgh

NECF 40 days fast & pray: Day 3 - Day 6

Day 3:  No headache today.  Drank a mug of milo at 10am.  Then dragonfruit (chilled, no ice, no sugar / milk) juice at 12 noon.  Superb.

Day 4:  Was at work the whole day.  Noel had breakfast with me at Thompson Corner where I love the Claypot Mee.  I really wanted to eat it... *thiisssssss close.  But didn't.  Noel ordered Kueh Chap, so I drank a lot of his soup.  YUMS!

My favorite Claypot Mee in the whole wide world

Had "lunch" with the team after the event, at 4pm.  They ate.  I sat down to drink Honey Lemon Drink.  Tapau-ed some food for noel (after youth).

Heated all the food possible from the fridge to "pecah posa" with noel at 10.30pm after he came back from youth.  Pecah Posa 1.

Day 5:  Tadika Thanksgiving Lunch.
Every year I will host a Thanksgiving Lunch for helpers of Tadika.  Had been struggling about eat / no eat.  I struggle with the concept of "appearing" holy and not telling others about my fast, but also I think as Christians, all the more we should be more understanding when one is fasting right?  Then Noel said, as a host, it's rude to not eat.  So ya... Pecah Posa 2.  I had lunch.

When I came back from lunch, I was really craving for a good, thick Barley drink.  No barley at home.  Walked out to buy barley, but walking in the hot sun was in vain.  No barley.  Went to buy before heading out to dinner.

Dinner went out with Fread and Togs to Topspot.  Managed to not eat.  Oh the food though!!!! Telan telan air liur only.  Hehe...

Came home and boiled barley.  So puas hati can drink the barley.  Letting it cool down to be chilled tomorrow.  Noel would love it.

Day 6:  Public Holiday

Brought mom and dad for a movie (Lion King) in the morning.  Oh, what a BORING movie!  Then decided to treat them lunch @ Nando's.  Yes, still managed to not eat.  I tell you... the temptatioonnnnnn!!!!  Urggghhhhh!!! Back to Day 1 today (since I pecah posa yesterday).

Then, went for Karoks and makan2 again with Fread and Togs. With Noel.  went to Rumah Asap Tabuan Dayak.  Because I wasn't eating, I didn't take a pix of the bbq pork.  Togs had Laksa and Fread ordered soup Babi Terung Assam.  Both of the soup was delicious!!!! Yes, managed to still not eat.

Then because Banana Cheese was not open, we went to Coffee Factory for some dessert.  They had basque burnt cheesecake and Choc Cheesecake.  And Togs ordered classic waffles.

NECF 40 days fast & pray: Day 1; Who is in control

Day 1 after so many years.  Felt the call to do full fast this year (i.e. no solids).  Maybe coz food is my priority and I keep thinking of food, even on OMAD IF.  So maybe God is telling me, I need to stop thinking about food and let it go.

Anyways, today is OK, but was starving by night / end of day.  There was soup kosong at home (after boiling pork), so i drank one bowl of that before I went to bed.

I don't know how to survive these 40 days, with many social engagements / obligations.  But I will leave it to God who is in control.

NECF 40 days fast and pray: Day 2; God is Able

Headache today around noon... not too sure why.  Maybe Hypo again?  or just too much "wind".

Drank one mug of hot milo and another mug of kopi-O kosong at about 8am.  Maybe that's the cause?  (i.e. sugar input in the body).

Took a cup of dragon fruit juice (kosong, no sugar / milk / ice) at about 12.30noon.  Seems like headache getting less.

Listening to what the body tells.  Yet, bersandar on the God who is Able.

Half Year Review

Oh dear, I've seriously failed miserably for the past half year!

1.  Financial:

-  to keep 10% of monthly salary as non-touchable savings

-  if I need money for travelling etc, that will need to be in another "saving" scheme.

I've traveled so extensively for the past 6 months.  KK in March, Kuala Terengganu in April, Singapore in May.  No 10% savings to date.

2.  Work

-  to be more productive (instead of reading blogs and blogging during work hours!)

-  to complete and improve Admin P&P for my company in 2019.

Updated the P&P due to ISO certification.  But still am unproductive at work (and gets grumpy when people kacau my bloghopping! hahaha!)  It's even worst with webwhatapps.  I'll be "busy" typing away... anything BUT work.  Aduh.

3.  Health

-  To exercise at least 3 times / week

Update:  The most rajin is twice a week only...

-  To eat healthily (i.e. cut down on white carbs, eat more veg and fruit, less fatty meat)

*note:  I realized with age, I am already doing this.  During the breakfast (and a few other hotel breakfast recently), I took more than 3 servings of fruit and still wanting.  They are delicious and so refreshing!  And when pork is cooked at home, I realized i need to side step the fatty parts as I am not able to swallow them!  gasp!  Horror!

Update:  Not bad on this one... I limit my rice to half a cup (cooked) for each meal (if home prepared that is!) and love it when there's fruit!

-  To do intermitten fasting once / week (16:8)

Update:  This gotta be my most "regular" item.... but that's because I do it when I freak out looking at the scale.  I do OMAD as well.

4.  Ministy

-  to intentionally put in more energy and effort into Tadika Ministry as a Chairperson for the last 2 years.  Not avoid issues by sweeping them under the carpet and avoiding those involved in the ministry.

Update:  Didn't put in much effort into this.  I REALLY hate confrontations.

5.  Spiritually

-  to do more devotions - i) with Noel ii)  take up new devo material:  CFC?  Disciple Red?  1 chapter/ day?

*note:  I have yet gotten this figured out - to find something that would work.

Update:  Doing "experiencing God" devotion material with the CG.  Looking good.  The book is a real kick in the backside.  Key point:  Need to spend time to have a close and intimate relationship with God.

-  to do Wesleyan fast once / week.  From Thursday night till Friday night.

Update:  Did this faithfully in the first 2 months.  Then became lazy to fast and to attend prayer meet.

6.  Self-improvement

-  to go for a baking / cake deco course

-  to go for a proper swimming class so that I can swim properly

-  to learn how to cycle

-  to read at least one book / month

Update:  Haven't done any.