Worth a thousand words - Murud

Uploading this, because my heart still aches to be there, uninhibited in His presence.  And because, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Lunch Day 1:  We had a picnic outside, because the sun came out.  But, the wind.  Oh, my.  So strong, it almost blew us away.  But we braved it up - just because.  *I love my new super heavy duty (and just plain heavy) green poncho*

Afternoon day 2 - we spent the afternoon in this beautiful homely house, listening, swallowing up all the lessons we can from a very wise, humble man

Some see this a clutter, but I see warmth, generosity, hospitality beyond compare.  The daughter of that humble man, came up with her cousin, to take over their mother's duty to cook and provide for their guest because they were too old to climb up the mountain.  She said, each year, she would say no, she will not climb up anymore, but without fail, she climbs up anyway.  I didn't question why.

People came and went that whole afternoon, each taking his fill of the richness of what was so freely given out.  Look at the rack on the wall.  Full of food - people just come and "deposit" their food on this rack - to be shared with everyone who comes to the house. Home owners called it their personal 7-11.

Alie - she was really good at blowing the shofar *ram's horn

Porter's slip - yes, they were that professional, but they did not chase after you to pay immediately.  You are after all, stuck on the mountain top for 3 days.  This amount if for.... I can't remember - I think a few bags + a box of food.  RM4/kg

Driver's slip - even more "professional", written behind a 4D slip. [Kantoi si Uncle :)] This amount is for the 5 of us.

Flight home.  When I realized I left most of my being in BKM / Murud.

Life is like a layer cake

Was so glad when the layers came out almost evenly!

Life indeed is like a layer cake - just when you thought the first layer was good, comes the 2nd layer - even better than the first, then comes the 3rd layer, well, it can be a bit bitter or tasteless, but when you put them together, then, you get blown away by how incredible the taste is!  

Putting in the 2nd layer - the cream cheese

No matter what age we are at, life will bring more surprises for us and in the end, we will be amazed at how everything turns out for good.  We just have to hang in there - holding fast to God and to one another.  We just have to continue to encourage one another to "eat on".

With his new favorite cake

Baked (or rather, steamed) this cake for Hari Raya recently - loved it so much (as in so easy to make) that baked this more than once to give away.  And because Noel almost wallop the cake at my Aunt's place (which we gave to her) - I baked this again for him.  Got the recipe from Dapur Tanpa Sempadan - check out the recipe here.

Because I can (and because I'm a freak in a way) - I measured the mixture to make sure the layers are equal.

I'm sure this cake is nothing new, and many of my friends made this before - another classic case of me being "late in catching the craze".  Oh well, better late than never so they say!

This is how I steam my cake - to make sure water does not drip on the cake - use a muslin cloth (i.e. lampin)

Have a great week ahead mates - let's hold on as we "eat on" in our lives!  Jiayou!  Aza Aza Fighting (Updated to Aja! Aja! Hwaiting - on the advice of my *clever-er friend :)!!)

Looking for His Oasis

So the 40 days National prayer has begun.... I felt a deep conviction in my heart that I am to let go of Facebook as part of this fast.  I can't say that I was too happy when I felt this conviction.  However, it was clear that FB (in all it's good intention) had robbed me off a lot of my time and my attention to my surrounding.  Especially post Murud and post Logos Hope when I have a lot more friends and a lot more reason to check the news feed every 2 minutes (so to speak).  Today is the first day.  How did I fare? Lost.  I felt totally lost without it.  And yes, there was a few times I accidently tapped on the app on my phone, out of habit.  But I've logged out at 12pm last night, so I've not broke my "fb-fast".  But I am thankful for this time, when I can consciously draw closer to God.

2 years ago I did a total fast - only on water / liquid (when needed); but mostly on plain water.  Last year I did total fast but with "off days" - i.e. when needed socially.  This year, I felt lead to do sunrise till sunset fast.  So how was my first day?  Horrible - as in... I SO NEED WATER!!!!... The body gets really week not because of lack of food, but precious water.  No wonder "the cousins" would think and mule over what to eat and what to drink the whole day when it's Ramadhan.... I have my bottled water in front of me now, and it's another hour to breaking of fast.

I wrote on my FB page last nite - that it has been an amazing Q3 for 2013.  Really, I am thankful for Murud, for Logos Hope and now... I am thankful for another 40 days in the dessert seeking God's oasis.

Going deeper into the river... Murud Song

He is there waiting for each of us... Are we ready to surrender everything?  

Yeah.... I have a problem with that too... Hang in there mates.  He will give us strength!  Slowly,, ankle deep, knee deep, waist deep, over the head deep!

Going deeper into the river - Murud 5 - finale

So what have I learnt in this trip you will ask... Not sure if I can recall all that I've learnt, I am sure I will have more to come (i.e. edited version) but for now, here goes...

Community
1.  We all can be "stubbornly nice"
In the trip, an Uncle had a very bad knee problem but he still insisted on carrying a whole load of bags and would refuse any kind of hope - even an offer to carry his camera bag.  Stubbornly nice.  An amoi from the town who looked and is weak insist on sitting at the back of the hilux when you know she's gonna fall of from the bumps and the wind and that she hates dust.  Stubbornly nice.  Same amoi who weighs about 40kgs, insist on pulling me up or helping me down - not that it matter, if I'm not more than double her weight.  Stubbornly nice.  And yours truly, insisting on sleeping outside the tent the whole trip, on carrying own backpack + content for other people though I think it weighs more than 5kgs, on riding at the back hilux / pickup, on carrying own luggage bag though it's like 10 kgs in total + mud.  Yes, stubbornly nice.  The amoi said, I have deep down issues - of rejecting people's help - really?  Maybe, because I've learnt since at least 10 years ago to be strong, never to let anyone see my tear, or hear my sighs.  I learnt that I shouldn't let anyone look down on me just because I am a woman.  I learnt to brave it all.  Heck, at 8 months pregnant I was still climbing up Mount Singai and climbing up diesel tanks to check on my diesel supplies.  Do I have deep down issues?  Perhaps.  But then again, Galatian 6: 9 - 10 says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.  So... it ain't gonna stop me from being stubbornly nice.  (Yes, I know, I need to learn to receive as well)

Here I am, being stubbornly nice - carry backpack load for 2 person.  Honestly, I was totally OK with the load!

2.  We all can adapt to the surrounding - but at our own pace.
Some of us could adapt immediately to the dirty-looking (but clean) water, freezing temperature, lack of food immediately.  Others, adapts slower.  Nonetheless, in the end, we all will get to "adaptation" point.  So give each one their own rightful space and time.

Here's our water source.  For everything lah - cooking, drink, mandi, toilet.  Water from tanah - got also sungai source.  But all natural "chinese-tea" colour.  Here the freezing-cold pond is used for baptism as well. Some people didn't want to drink the water at first :D

3.  We all tolerate different things at different times.
I hated the hike ups but can easily tolerate and maneuver muddy trails.  I know a certain friend who is a total opposite.  But we hiked up together pretty well.  That's what makes us, the family of God unique.  We need to use that to strengthen the Body; not tear it apart with our differences.

A glimpse of the muddy trail - taken from a friend's FB (tq Suilin)

4.  We all need to "re-open" our hearts to be more hospitable.  Love.  Unconditionally.
Being a city person, it's very hard to being hospitable without grumbles.  But I've re-learnt how to just open up and warmly invite others into one's family embrace.  I think, by nature, we are that way.  Open, trusting, welcoming.  And yet, with time and situation, we become cold.  It's time to rediscover that openness. 1 Peter 4: 9 - Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.  Thank you family for showing me this.

Ukab's dad, giving his welcome speech during the dinner when we returned from Mt. Murud.  What have we done to deserve such hospitality.  2 wildboars awaited us!

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5.  I really want a good camera and be good at taking pictures with it.

Some friends says I’m “late” in catching the wave of a craze e.g. Korean Drama series.  After other people cool down from the K-drama fever, only then did I begin mine.  And I realized, it’s the same with wanting a good camera as well.  My friend’s toys I reckon are packed somewhere at the back of their storeroom by now, and I have yet to want to own one.  However, during the time in Murud, I was privileged to be able to “steal” using an Uncle’s camera – I don’t know if he minded or not, I just assume that it’s OK (I know, my bad).  Well, I would never dare to do that with a friend’s camera – coz I know it’s like life and death but I felt that I needed to capture the shots when he was not able to.  It must have irritated him a whole lot.  After getting used to that camera, I felt no desire to use my smallish camera or my mobile anymore; thus explaining the lack of photos for this trip.  I found that I was not able to capture the moments, the atmosphere even with bigger cameras, what more with the small tiny one I had.  Well, it’s one thing to own a good DSLR, it’s another to be able to get good shots with it.  Seeing photos taken by both my awesome Uncles made me desire one even more.  So yes, hopefully next trip will see me having one and being able to capture good shots.  But I doubt I will be ready to lug the camera up the mountain like that certain Uncle did with so much care.  We’ll see.

One of the shots by Uncle # 1, of Uncle #2 and a very good looking old-ish uncle.  Good camera = Nice shots.

6.  I am a very jealous person – and I need to keep that in check

This fact I’ve known for the longest time.  That I am a very jealous person.  I get jealous over anything and everything – even the tiniest details.  Anything that threatens my position.  I was jealous many times during the whole trip, sometimes I was able to keep that in reign but unfortunately, most of the time, it was effort in vain.  I know many a times a certain honest friend would really give anything to knock some senses into my head (with a very hard piece of firewood!).  A fast reading of my palm’s jealousy line shows that I’m not a jealous person (I think it’s about 30% ONLY).  So…  Come on Di, get a grip. Love is patient, Love is kind.  It DOES NOT ENVY…. (1 Cor 13: 4 – 8).  Praying hard - need to act hard as well.

No pix for this point.  I'd hate to see my jealous face captured on camera!

7. I used to be a more pleasant person

Did life turned me into a cold hearted person?  I’m not too sure.  I have always thought that I wore my feelings on my sleeves, but after this trip, I find that many of that “emotions” are negative ones – anger, bitterness.   I used to be known as a friendly person during my younger days, one to smile readily on any occasion, at any time, in any situation.  I pray that after some surgery on the Mountain, I am ready to be my “old” pleasant self.

No pix for this as well! I'd hate to see my grouchy face captured on camera as well!

8.  I am a loner

Oh my! Since when???  It must be the age.  Yes, I still love having friends, but sometimes, I love being alone, listening to my own thoughts, or just being me.  No wonder, there's rarely any music in the car, there's long alone walks in the park, the continuous ironing - just for the sake of silence and being with only myself.  Don't get me wrong, I savour being with friends, but I don't mind my own company too :)  I especially savour the cool crisp night when we returned from Murud, sitting under the moon with a few dogs by my feet.  I should have went out to sit there alone earlier.

It was a beautiful night when we came down from Murud.  The moon was sooooo... amazing.  I missed the dogs who sat out in silence with me :D

9.  Forgiveness is a mere shoulder tap and a hug away

For the past 6 years, I had a terrible bitterness towards a certain person in my heart.  I tried hard to forgive and forget, but it just won’t go away.  Imagine my horror when I found out that this person is on the Mountain Trip as well!  I tried as much as I can to ignore all his biting comments, the “i-know-it-all” remarks and just be a peace.  But it was useless.  God wanted it a different way that I did.  Out of the 700 participants, it is “weird” that I bump into this person during the reconciliation session.   Just BUMP! HOW CAN IT BE?  I kept screaming at God – YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!  But in a split second, my fingers on lightning speed decided to think on its own and tapped this person shoulder and as he turned around, at a look of his teary face, a hug went across.  My mouth too seems to have a mind of it’s own uttered over and over – mutuh do’ uih ko (I am sorry).  And we wept.  He wouldn't say it, wouldn't ask for forgiveness, but I don’t really care.  It was as healing as it possibly can be and I am healed despite him not apologizing.  For all I know, he might not realize it.  But his bitter wept said it all.  It’s done.  Forgiven.  I am ready to start anew.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.  Thank you for Your Healing touch Lord.

God

10.  He answers our deep down cries - be it ready or not
Each person who went up had their own story to tell.  Some came with expectant hearts.  Some, didn't even know (or were too busy to know) that it's a Revival Meeting and came with no expectations at all.  But, God met us there.  He answered to our individual needs and all went back refreshed and revived in our own way.  I wanted to hear Him and I did.  Loud and clear.  Now I am ready for 2014 - God willing.  The next 4 months will be a time of preparation for 2014.  I know if He wants me to do what He's set me to do, He will give me joy and strength.

Though the road ahead may be winding, uphill and muddy, bah, biarlah, if it's God who leadeth me - maka tenanglah hatiku :)

It was an amazing trip.  Till today, I have yet grasp or able to capture the trip with words.  One thing for sure, Murud (and Ba Kelalan).... I will be back.

Missing Murud

No, I'm not done with my postings on Murud yet.  The last one is a bit tough, lots of thinking effort.

But.

The ever-welcoming warm fire in House No. 10

Darn.

The real summit of Mt. Murud - which I gladly did not conquer

I miss MURUD.

Going deeper into the river - Murud 4

House No. 10, where we spent most of our nights being pest and disturbing other people's beauty sleep!

3 days went by very quickly.  Our afternoons were spent visiting our friend's houses and being blessed.  Our nights were spent at Aunty Sipai's house - house number 10.  Before we know it, it was already time to go.

 We packed our things, and planned to leave at 5am on Monday.  But didn't leave till after breakfast, about 6.40am.  What fun time it was going down!  Knees hurt like mad, but still, with a lot of people infront and behind us, it was such a joy, with so much singing, jokes, teasing, laughing!  Arriving back to Lepo Bunga was a miracle.  We made it in 5 1/2 hours this time.  Some made it faster of course :) And that is with many "traffic jam" along the way.

The fullmoon was with us the whole trip... till we reached Buduk Nur for a wonderful feast of food and hearts

Arriving back in Buduk Nur was such a huge relief.  But it had made me get jumpy again!  The plan was to go to Long Beluyu that day and stay the night over with Uncle Balang.  But Uncle Brownie couldn't come that day to drive us to Long Beluyu.  Stress.... behind schedule!  But as I've learnt from Day 1, all is well at His own time.  We had a wonderful feast prepared for us by Uncle - Ukab's dad and I spent the night talking with those I used to be closed to, and also, seated outside with a dog under the moon while the rest chatted the night away.  All was well.

The feeling of "it's your home" was intense.  Ukab (my 2nd cousin) cooked for us that night.

Finally, we moved out from lovely Ba Kelalan with heavy hearts and hidden tears.  Dropped by Long Beluyu, saddened to see how the folks were getting older by the day, sorry that I didn't spend time with them, and yet, thankful, that we did drop by.  Moved on to Mararap Hot Spring, enjoyed the total complete silence and the wonderful luxurious dip in the beautiful pool.  Met more Uncle / Aunty along the way as well.

Specifically wanted the group (especially the city girls) to try the "hanging bridge".  I was terrified of crossing it when I was still a child.

Back to Lawas on Wednesday, had wonderful laksa at Ba Kelalan Rice Cafe - specially prepared for us only, even if the cafe was closed for the day.  What a beautiful end for a beautiful trip....